Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Start off with a new me

Its been a while I haven't post something here. Im so busy with my study and life. So I guess I need to develop back my writing skill like I did before. So hello and and ya Hi, Assalamualaikum . So again, this is my blog where I'll write everything about myself , about what Im doing and about what Im gonna do.

Perhaps, I might also write something about my family, my friends , my love maybe if I have one. Basically , I broke up with my girlfriend approximately 3 months ago , so ya, for this time being, surely there's no such thing about my girlfriend or what . Its very long story and I don't want to talk about it for sure. First of all, I would like to say sorry if I use English as my primary language rather than malay because sometime there's friends which is not Malaysian gonna read my post and they barely can't understand malay, so it will be much easier for me to write in English. I guess Malaysian people arent dumb enough to understand English. Don't worry , Im using basic English .

Life as a chemical engineering student isn't that easy. Before I continue, do ignore my grammatical error or you can just personal correct me if Im wrong , do have ethic and manners when you want to correct people. Manners are important here, my attitude will depends on how you treat me. Okay back to the story, life as a student , especially engineering student surely will give me ton of stresses when there comes to assignments , discussions , projects, experiments and etc , Im putting 's' here because its too many and it gave me head ache. To be honest , do not take this course if you don't have strong spirit and strong mental because you'll become someone lost if you're out of path . Experiences taught me lot of things when it comes to friendship, love life, financial , family and so on. I went through glorious time before and now my time has surd down drastically . But its fine because you've been in a time where you have your own result .

My life now is fine with my family, especially I have my nephew , he just 1 years old and soon he gonna have a sister because my sister pregnant again for her second child . Love life somehow make me far astray , far from remembering good things . I was confused , contaminated and lost , because its kinda sad and hurt when someone that you love left you for certain reasons. It might be my fault and it might be her fault. But keep this in mind "its her loss" and everything gonna be alright . If you love someone , do pray to God because he know better and he planned something great for us ahead if he doesn't reply your prayer . Do remember , God will always be with us , we as human being always forget that God with us all the time , well , see , you give you oxygen to breath ? Who give you ability to do chores and whatsoever ? So I believe there is no such thing as atheist in this world.

I do love her and I loyal to her before , but I believe , both of us need some time to fix ourself and take a break from everything . I did my best to talk to her but I failed and I left everything to God . 2 years relationship gone like nothing happened before. It was sad to remember all those reminiscences  because it would not make me propagate but somehow it do make me suffer . So I isolated myself from talking to friends and being alone except talking to someone that comfort me . I need my time alone and I did cried for something that useless to me . I believe you will say that Im such a crybaby or childish , but let me correct you , when a guy can cry for a girl , I guess that girl is the most precious for him and that girl must be lucky to have someone that really into her and do not waste that guy because he can definitely can tune down his ego just for her girl.

We change our topic , usually my life will be full of chapters and I will divide each stories chapter by chapter . Chapter 6 end here and we proceed to chapter 8 . Why chapter 8 ? because I don't really want to talk about chapter 7 and guess what , 7 is my lucky number . Anyway, chapter 8 gonna be about my life without any of those ridiculous things . Its time for me to transform myself from a person to a better person . Do remember , high expectation will leads us to failure and please, do not repeat the same mistakes like I did . I really have such a supportive family , they supported me all the time eventhough through my hardest time . I need to remember , family comes first.

Few my friends suggested me to move on, but its hard for me to move on . Well being with someone that you really crazy for the past 2 years , how come I can move on ? I love you guys but please , this time , just let me decide what to do in my life. I do love my friendship with people and I do hope that people will appreciate the kindness that I gave to them before. I give you flower , please don't give me shit. Im a guy that really hard to predict , easy word, unpredictable . Its very hard to understand me , even I also can't really understand myself . Im sorry if I being too annoying , but thats the way how I show you my comfort zone when I feel easy be with you .

Seems like Im mumbling here , sorry again , I need to practise more in order to get the correct calibration in writing again , do give me time . We need time to improve and stop judging , we all just the same human being , we have brain to think and surely we have feeling . So if someone ask me , how am i, I will say Im fine . But do know something here, Im not fine at all and I need time to heal .


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