Monday, June 29, 2015

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Assalamualaikum , dah bulan june nak masuk July dah , which means almost nak raya , ye ke ? baru puasa ke 12 , so how ? ada termakan atau terminum tak ? Isn't hard right to fast in Ramadan ? Kalau nak bercakap tentang puasa , ada cerita tentang puasa aku nak tulis dekat sini . 

I started when I was 5 years old , aku mula puasa penuh mula dari umur 5 tahun , susah nak percayakan ? haha, bersebab sebenarnya waktu tu , ye lah , time budak-budak mana nak tahu erti ikhlas ke tidak . Everyday my mom gave me RM 1 kalau puasa penuh , besar rahmat at that moment kalau dapat seringgit . tu back to 15 years ago . Zaman sekarang ni , budak-budak nampak seringgit pun tak pandang dah . To be honest , aku berasal dari keluarga susah, tak macam sekarang . Dulu dan sekarang berbeza. 

I felt it before , aku dah rasa nak makan kira duit syilling, aku dah rasa kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang , aku dah rasa hidup sehelai sepinggang. Namun, tu semua bukan penghalang untuk terus berjaya kan ? Manusia semua sama disisi Allah , tak kira kita ni kaya , miskin , baik , jahat , semua sama cuma iman yang membatasi kita. Well back to the story , puasa zaman kanak-kanak seronok . Kawan-kawan masih ramai, tak macam sekarang . Yes memang kawan-kawan aku masih ramai but I mean kawan-kawan zaman kanak-kanak tu , semua dah hilang . 

Masing-masing dah fly jauh to America, Uk, Aus, NZ and so on , kalau ada pun beberapa kerat yang study sini , but masing-masing dah dewasa, semua haluan masing-masing . Puasa zaman dulu awesome, penuh dengan kegembiraan kanak-kanak . Main mercun, ponteng tarawih , main basikal , main kejar-kejar dan sebagainya . How I miss that moment. Time raya if Abah give duit raya , tengok-tengok rm 50 , wuhh sakan macam dunia ni aku orang kaya , padahal baru rm 50 , zaman budak-budak kot , anything is glory . Sekarang , duit raya mesti lebih rm1000, won't tell you guys for sure :P 

Anyway , zaman dah berubah, masa demi masa tetap berubah . Dahulu kita kanak-kanak, ceria bersama mak dan ayah bersama adik beradik . Namun mak ayah kita hanya manusia biasa , mereka tetap akan tua dimamah usia, suatu hari nanti hanya akan menjadi memori indah didalam ingatan kita . Kita ini sebagai anak, akan menjadi ibubapa, akan memikul tanggungjawab yang terdahulu seperti mak ayah kita juga. Masa bagaikan putaran roda , ia akan berputar seperti mana kita dahulu . Saling berganti tempat . Kita pula kena berbakti pada mak ayah , kita pula mesti membalas budi mereka. Well what I wrote just now about duit raya semua , bukan aku mengharapkan duit ibubapa, aku cuma mengimbas kembali memori silam tentang keindahan kekeluargaan . Hargai selagi mana kita mampu hargai. 

One day , kita akan ada keluarga, kita akan pikul tanggungjawab. Saat tu, kita sendiri kena berkorban pada mak ayah, kita kena berjasa pada mak ayah . Alhamdulillah my life now quiet fascinating , awesome and fun . Aku tahu asal usul aku, aku tahu kesusahan aku dulu sebelum berjaya . Main point for today , sedar diri dan improve diri sendiri . Nak berjaya, tak senang . Nak pandai , tak senang, sakit. Even nak kurus pun sakit tahu . Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib seseorang itu sebelum dia sendiri berusaha untuk mengubah nasibnya.

Maaf ye , about sehelai sepingang dan kais pagi makan pagi tu hanya rekaan semata-mata , tapi aku pernah hidup susah juga dulu :P I felt before. Sekarang dan berbeza . Apa-apa pun selamat berpuasa semua . 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Another year , Another life

Hello Assalamualaikum , it has been almost 3 years from that moment . The moment I feel useless and somehow stupid to believe in girls . Susahkan ? Susah bila kita terlampau sayang, suddenly the person you love the most lied to you, disappoint you, ignore you . Suddenly everything changed , clockwise . 

Thing change now, Im much better than before. Its kinda hard for me , but the situation make me realized that it is not easy to believe in girl especially when the girl give hopes and expectation . So start it all over again and again recover from sadness . Because we as guy who broke a lot deserve to get a better life, better girl instead :P . 

Took time actually , 2 years wasn't a short period . The pain I felt, hahaa , make me stronger too .  Last time , I really stupid because I did believed , I did cried , I did hurt , everything was a lie and fake. So I run away from problems, I cried , I brought I broken heart along with me to a place . Day by day , Im getting better , Im getting well . Life isn't perfect sometime , its all lie and full of dramas . A friend told me , life just full of joy and happiness , but I refused him , life just bullshit for me at that moment , I repeat at that moment . Love is blind, love is a lie and love is a game . 

So , I studied hard for me to release my stresses . I did bad in my SPM examination , just because of love . So after SPM , with pray and affords , I studied hard , alhamdulillah I scored 4 flat in my examination , so actually life wasn't bad at all . Start at that moment, I started to realized that life is full of happiness if you manage to search for it . Its a mission for us to search for our happiness. Friends and family just a catalyst for us to gain strength . Allah give us chance to change and improve our life before he take that opportunity because we dont change ourself and God know everything . 

High expectation will fail you in the end , but moderate expectation will keep on burst you to gain success . My main point is stop wasting time on girls before you gain your glory and victory , get me ? I failed before , now its time for me to chill and enjoy with my glory . She just my past, just ignore, forget and forgive . I deserve someone better , she deserve someone good for me indeed . 

Well it just memorable and precious moment for me , maybe the part of my life will vanish in history of my life . I moved on and let it go but sometime Im not strong enough to handle when Im alone ,this isn't love, but this is lust as being said by her . Last time Im like an insane person , I can even cry all day long , I dont know why but it's weird .Surely bored , but it doesn't last time :P 

It has been ages since 2013 , just a precious memory that will vanish from my heart soon . 

It just a lie, I did well in my SPM examination and I scored 4 flat in my final , alahmdulillah and thank you :P