Heading to the future

Hello Assalamualaikum , first of all I just wanna say Barakallah , 27 November 2015 was the day kakak getting married .  "Kakak dah nikah , hang bila lagi ?" Hahaaha , that was the question they keep on asking me since yesterday .

 But seriously I dont have a girl to make as a wife . I dont even have a girlfriend . Last time people always say whenever you entered University surely you'll meet up with a girl whom will be your wife in the future , but , seriously kakak didnt have a boyfriend when she was in University , so ni membuatkan aku bersemangat untuk tunggu orang yang betul tu muncul. Kakak met her husband after she graduated . So I guess another 4 years I'll meet the right person to be my wife . To kakak and spark , congrats , hopefully you guys gonna be fine , dimurahkan rezeki , diberikan kesenangan , diberikan kelapangan atas perkahwinan korang , I still remember when me and kakak was a kid , we fight , we even cried and we didnt talk due to some problems but yet we still sibling and yet I hope hassan will make you happy till jannah insyallah , my responsible as brother to protect you ends here , my responsible as your guidance ends here .

 Take care my sister . Be a good wife , be a good mother too as well in the future and be a good daughter to mama and abah . This is life , I feel like yesterday me and kakak sitting together watching dragonball , eat together as a family , play hide and seek , but time flies very fast , we all getting old and life is hard as well . Feel like it just yesterday mama mad at us just because we broke her plate . Feel like yesterday abah mad at us just because we spent too much . All memories will remain inside our heart as a family . Congrats and take care . To Kakak here the message I want to give to you , be a nice wife , listen to your husband , patuh pada hassan , jaga diri . To Hassan, take care of my only sister , its not my duty anymore to take care of her health and wealth . Be a good man , be a nice husband , bimbing dia hingga ke akhirat kelak insyallah .

The day has come , the day all of us getting old , the day when we need to hold huge responsibilities , the day when we need to repay our parents sacrifice , the day when we need to take care of our parents . We're not young anymore , lot of responsibilities and burdens will be hold by us . Back to few years ago , I asked myself , what would be if kakak getting married ? Am I the most anguish person when the day comes ? The truth came on the day lafaz nikah dilafazkan by her husband . 

It just because she's my only sister I have dunia akhirat , I can't simply text her whenever I sad anymore , I can't simply text her whenever I'm bored , I can't simply call her whenever I cry . She got her own responsibility now , surely she'll be busy with house chores and her husband . I can't simply bother her . But alhamdulillah everything went well . Now segala tanggungjawab, amalan , dan perbuatan telah diberikan kepada suami dia , my duty ends here . 

Kakak deserve to be happy with her beloved husband starts from that day and onwards , I hope she'll be happy as the skies still blue and yet she'll be fine . I'll not by her side forever once I'm gone , not gone to die by gone to continue my studies somewhere once I graduate from USM Chemical Engineering . I got my own future for me to catch . It just started . My journey still long .

Time flies , feel like yesterday abah mama and me drove kakak to her University , feel like yesterday I saw kakak took her SPM result , feel like yesterday I saw kakak cried because she felt happy . But yet Im happy because I still can see my only kakak getting married . Im sad , Im happy , Im excited and lot of feelings I felt . Mama , Abah , Kakak , they're my teacher , they're my friend , they're my heroes as well , I rely on them , I cried to them , I hope I can see everything that missed once again , I hope that I can meet up my happy family once again ,  everything flew , berteman dimalam yang sunyi penuh doa , I pray for Allah to give them wealth , I pray for Allah to give them health, I pray for Allah to give the pride , I pray Allah to take care of them , bersaksikan air mata , I asked Allah to take them far from aljahim, with this tears I ask jannah for them . I hope I can be young at this moment forever , I just want to be with my family , I miss them . 

But I need to face the truth and the reality as well too , I doing fine with my study now , few years more , I also with be marry to a girl that I love, although I've no girlfriend now. The day will comes , the true love will appear soon , just believe that . Manusia yang selalu gembira itulah manusia yang paling sedih sebenarnya dan dia sentiasa berusaha untuk memgembirakan hati manusia lain . Manusia yang paling tenang itulah manusia yang memikul beban dan masalah yang paling banyak sedangkan dia sendiri berusaha menyelesaikan masalah golongan manusia lain . Terima Kasih kepada semua sahabat , jiran-jiran, saudaramara yang hadir ke majlis pernikahan kakak , segala cacatcela majlis dipohon maaf dari pihak aku buat keluarga aku . Jazakallah ya sahabat , syukran . 

kakak said  "Sebak. I am touched... Don't worry, I will always be your sister and include you, mama abah in my prayers. Love you always brother. Insya'allah. Kakak doakan hang berjaya dalam University, remember my advice okay. Love comes naturally and it needs to be gained."

~ syukran ~

:)

Assalamualaikum peps , hari just nak post for fun . Sebab sekarang jarang post since busy . 

Here just wanna post about my career since I was in primary school sampai ke zaman University. "Shafizruddin, kalau kamu perangai macam ni sampai bila-bila kamu takkan berjaya" " saya tengok kamu ni takkan berjaya masuk ke University" , dua ayat tu aku masih ingat sampai sekarang, ungkapan dari manusia aku panggil guru zaman sekolah rendah dulu. Seriously , aku memang pemalas zaman sekolah rendah dulu . Fat boy yang selalu suka makan 24/7 . But here's the point , sebagai seorang pendidik , maaf , bukan aku mahu mengkritik , tapi sebagai seorang guru , mesti menunjukkan contoh yang baik buat anak murid , bukannya mengutuk . Well , bila student tu malas , come on , you're the one yang ajar dia , bagi nasihat , bagi dorongan dan bimbing , bukannya marah dan down grade kan orang tu . So everything just fine , kerana malas aku , result agak kecundang dan ditawarkan ke Sekolah Harian Biasa -_- Sekarang baru menyesal kenapa tak study elok-elok , kalau tak dah masuk MRSM dah :p 

When I was in form 1 , I went to Sekolah Harian Biasa, well known as SMK Seberang Jaya . Waktu form 1 , masih malas seperti biasa , baru berubah fasa persekitaran , come on takkan nak terus berubah jadi superduper cemerlang kot , tu dah jadi miracle pula. Result when I was in form 1 quiet average , nothing special pun. But aku mungkin ada satu minat yang melampau dalam subject sejarah dan Maths , I did well in both subjects . Malas-malas aku pun still cemerlang dalam dua subjects tu. When I was in form 2 , maybe silap terikut perangai kawan , maaf , bukan semua kawan , I still remember this words "Kamu ni nak jadi apa ? nak sampah atau bangkai ? " HAHAHA , masih aku ingat walaupun dah bertahun tinggalkan zaman sekolah . Punca kena marah macam tu sebab tersilap buat kerja sekolah ja , well , cikgu down grade aku doe . 

But alhamdulillah I did enjoyed too time form 2 , masih aku ingat , ada seorang ustaz yang sangat-sangat rapat dengan aku and kawan-kawan , yang lelaki lah , banyak dia bagi nasihat tentang kehidupan . I started to memorized whole quran when I was in form 2 . I started to changed myself to become a better future . On 25 Ramadan , I still remember this date , I sat alone dekat meja study aku , the I started to think "Kalau aku terus malas macam ni , sampai bila aku nak terus macam ni ? Bila aku dewasa , aku nak jadi apa ? Duit mama abah takkan sara aku selamanya. Kakak takkan sentiasa dengan aku . Nobody will help me if aku tak mula buat sesuatu " .  I cried. Cried thinking of my past and my future . Peribahasa berkata "nasi sudah menjadi bubur" " dah terlanjur baru nak tergadah" , on the next day , I worked hard , I managed to study well and study hard . 

Tuhan maha adil , jika kita berusaha pasti membuahkan hasil , alhamdulillah , kedudukan dalam tingkatan aku melonjak dari 37 ke numb 2 , just satu pencapaian yang memuaskan . Bila kita dah mula cemerlang , maka wujudlah suatu kaum yang akan berasa cemburu melihat kejayaan kita, buat masa ni tak terlampau menyerlah. 

Persepsi guru terhadap aku dari buruk terus jadi baik , ya , I believed that "Bila kita usaha mengubah diri kita , maka Allah akan memelihara kita dan mengangkat darjat kita"  . But still musuh di mana-mana . I was in form 3 and everything went well . PMR year , so ramai student yang compete with each other. Kalau bersaing cara elok , ngak apa-apa kerna ianya merupakan adat apabila menjadi seorang peajar . Anyway , I completed memorizing quran when I was in form 3 . From that moment , I have an ability , bukan mahu berkata besar atau riak , I got a photostat mind . As example , if I read 5 pages in single time , I can remember every single words and I can read 1000 words within 5 minutes . 

I scored 7A's in PMR examination berkat doa ibubapa dan guru-guru , maaf , post ini bukan untuk aku memusuhi guru-guru aku , sekadar untuk pengajaran sahaja.  Aku dapat tawaran ke MRSM Pontian but I refused to go atas kerana perjalanan yang jauh , masa tu masih mentah , mana tahu nak fikir lonjak ke 10 tahun akan datang . I entered 4 science in the same school . Everything seems perfect at first . Time ni baru nak mula mengenali Physics , Chemistry, Add maths and so on . I've friends , kawan yang jenis depan baik belakang kutuk , HAHAHAHA . I still remember , Ujian pertengahan tahun , I got 88% for chemistry , maka ada seorang ni , tak puas hati dengan aku , so dia ambil paper chemistry aku and compare dengan dia punya paper , well I just ignored that , ini baru permulaan. But seems fine in form 4. Just form 5 yang jadi critical sikit.

So I entered form 5 , well jadi senior . Tahun form 5 juga naik pangkat jadi pengawas kanan . Dari budak mentah tak tahu apa-apa, jadi pengawas , then naik pengawas kanan , mesti ada yang tak puas hati right ? kerana kita semua manusia. Ujian pertama bermula , I scored well in this examination. 7 A 1 B , but still ada dua orang hamba Allah ni curi paper physics aku dan chemistry aku , well katanya nak recheck takut-takut tersilap tanda or tipu . Paper physics they can't do anything because kertas secara randomly cikgu bagi suruh student tanda . The problem is now , chemistry paper , takpa aku diam , scored 92% tapi dianggap menipu , sabar. 

Naik ke ujian pertengahan semester , still did well in examination , namun musuh masih tak berdiam diri . This time I scored physics 98% so masih ada yang nak menuduh aku. She said "teacher you know aaa shafizruddin cheated in examination , he kept notes inside his pocket and look at it when he went to the toilet and bla bla bla " , aku diam dan sabaq , ikutkan hati nak ja aku pijak manusia tu. But tuhan lebih kaya dari manusia, the teacher asked me and I did explain everything to her . Actually I was sick on that day , so I went to the toilet to settle something , takkan aku nak habaq aku pi cirit kot , logic lah sikit . 

Paling kejam aku masih ingat time trial spm , lilahitaala aku masih ingat sampai sekarang , ada golongan kelompok manusia jahiliah yang masih tak bertamadun fitnah aku , they said " cikgu , shafiruddin dapat markah tinggi time exam selalu sebab dia tipu dalam exam " well benda paling aku tak boleh terima cikgu-cikgu yang aku anggap golongan mulia tu boleh percaya . They believed them ! teachers broke me at that moment . Jadi buah mulut nama aku dekat bilik guru at that moment , malu aku , tebal muka aku nak hadap semua guru , tapi tuhan tetap bersama aku . Sampai satu tahap ni , jawapan aku sama dengan buku rujukan for sejarah , orang kata aku meniru . Paper chemistry aku almost accurate with answer scheme , teacher said mine one is false . Okay I bare it and accept it as a bullshit thing because SPM bukan diorang tanda . A day after habis spm , I went to school untuk hantar buku teks , I knew everything , I cried , day and night , kenapa manusia nak bersifat dengki bila ada manusia lebih dari depa , kenapa mesti nak menabur fitnah untuk kelihatan lebih mulia dihadapan manusia ? Ya Rabb , aku cuma mendoakan kebaikan buat mereka . 

My result for spm kinda well , so I went to Matrikulasi Perak , I studied hard and well , nak buktikan aku boleh dan mereka salah . Aku nak buktikan tanpa guru yang hipokrit aku mampu cemerlang . Aku nak buktikan cikgu sekolah tak menyumbangkan apa-apa selain cacian dan kutukan . Para pensyarah aku mendidik dengan cemerlang dan penuh kasih sayang berbanding guru-guru "kesayangan" aku . Alhamdulillah , I performed well in matrikulasi , I scored 4 flat in pengajian science physical matrikulasi which is physics , chemistry , sc comp and science maths . Alhamdulillah tuhan maha adil , tuhan maha penyanyang , tuhan tunjukkan kebenaran pada manusia yang memusuhi aku , aku memaafkan , cuma aku akan diam , itu cara aku memaafkan . 

jengjengjeng , alhamdulillah berkat usaha , doa ibubapa , berkat bimbingan para pensyarah , aku dapat ditawarkan ke Degree in Chemical Engineering . Berkat mereka-mereka dizaman sekolah yang membakar semangat aku untuk terus study , dan berkat guru-guru yang mengutuk aku juga 

Terima kasih kepada mereka. Thanks to them I did well and God repay on what they did to me . Ingat bersaing cara kotor takkan membuatkan kita gemilang dan berjaya selamanya . 

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Assalamualaikum , dah bulan june nak masuk July dah , which means almost nak raya , ye ke ? baru puasa ke 12 , so how ? ada termakan atau terminum tak ? Isn't hard right to fast in Ramadan ? Kalau nak bercakap tentang puasa , ada cerita tentang puasa aku nak tulis dekat sini . 

I started when I was 5 years old , aku mula puasa penuh mula dari umur 5 tahun , susah nak percayakan ? haha, bersebab sebenarnya waktu tu , ye lah , time budak-budak mana nak tahu erti ikhlas ke tidak . Everyday my mom gave me RM 1 kalau puasa penuh , besar rahmat at that moment kalau dapat seringgit . tu back to 15 years ago . Zaman sekarang ni , budak-budak nampak seringgit pun tak pandang dah . To be honest , aku berasal dari keluarga susah, tak macam sekarang . Dulu dan sekarang berbeza. 

I felt it before , aku dah rasa nak makan kira duit syilling, aku dah rasa kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang , aku dah rasa hidup sehelai sepinggang. Namun, tu semua bukan penghalang untuk terus berjaya kan ? Manusia semua sama disisi Allah , tak kira kita ni kaya , miskin , baik , jahat , semua sama cuma iman yang membatasi kita. Well back to the story , puasa zaman kanak-kanak seronok . Kawan-kawan masih ramai, tak macam sekarang . Yes memang kawan-kawan aku masih ramai but I mean kawan-kawan zaman kanak-kanak tu , semua dah hilang . 

Masing-masing dah fly jauh to America, Uk, Aus, NZ and so on , kalau ada pun beberapa kerat yang study sini , but masing-masing dah dewasa, semua haluan masing-masing . Puasa zaman dulu awesome, penuh dengan kegembiraan kanak-kanak . Main mercun, ponteng tarawih , main basikal , main kejar-kejar dan sebagainya . How I miss that moment. Time raya if Abah give duit raya , tengok-tengok rm 50 , wuhh sakan macam dunia ni aku orang kaya , padahal baru rm 50 , zaman budak-budak kot , anything is glory . Sekarang , duit raya mesti lebih rm1000, won't tell you guys for sure :P 

Anyway , zaman dah berubah, masa demi masa tetap berubah . Dahulu kita kanak-kanak, ceria bersama mak dan ayah bersama adik beradik . Namun mak ayah kita hanya manusia biasa , mereka tetap akan tua dimamah usia, suatu hari nanti hanya akan menjadi memori indah didalam ingatan kita . Kita ini sebagai anak, akan menjadi ibubapa, akan memikul tanggungjawab yang terdahulu seperti mak ayah kita juga. Masa bagaikan putaran roda , ia akan berputar seperti mana kita dahulu . Saling berganti tempat . Kita pula kena berbakti pada mak ayah , kita pula mesti membalas budi mereka. Well what I wrote just now about duit raya semua , bukan aku mengharapkan duit ibubapa, aku cuma mengimbas kembali memori silam tentang keindahan kekeluargaan . Hargai selagi mana kita mampu hargai. 

One day , kita akan ada keluarga, kita akan pikul tanggungjawab. Saat tu, kita sendiri kena berkorban pada mak ayah, kita kena berjasa pada mak ayah . Alhamdulillah my life now quiet fascinating , awesome and fun . Aku tahu asal usul aku, aku tahu kesusahan aku dulu sebelum berjaya . Main point for today , sedar diri dan improve diri sendiri . Nak berjaya, tak senang . Nak pandai , tak senang, sakit. Even nak kurus pun sakit tahu . Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib seseorang itu sebelum dia sendiri berusaha untuk mengubah nasibnya.

Maaf ye , about sehelai sepingang dan kais pagi makan pagi tu hanya rekaan semata-mata , tapi aku pernah hidup susah juga dulu :P I felt before. Sekarang dan berbeza . Apa-apa pun selamat berpuasa semua . 

Another year , Another life

Hello Assalamualaikum , it has been almost 3 years from that moment . The moment I feel useless and somehow stupid to believe in girls . Susahkan ? Susah bila kita terlampau sayang, suddenly the person you love the most lied to you, disappoint you, ignore you . Suddenly everything changed , clockwise . 

Thing change now, Im much better than before. Its kinda hard for me , but the situation make me realized that it is not easy to believe in girl especially when the girl give hopes and expectation . So start it all over again and again recover from sadness . Because we as guy who broke a lot deserve to get a better life, better girl instead :P . 

Took time actually , 2 years wasn't a short period . The pain I felt, hahaa , make me stronger too .  Last time , I really stupid because I did believed , I did cried , I did hurt , everything was a lie and fake. So I run away from problems, I cried , I brought I broken heart along with me to a place . Day by day , Im getting better , Im getting well . Life isn't perfect sometime , its all lie and full of dramas . A friend told me , life just full of joy and happiness , but I refused him , life just bullshit for me at that moment , I repeat at that moment . Love is blind, love is a lie and love is a game . 

So , I studied hard for me to release my stresses . I did bad in my SPM examination , just because of love . So after SPM , with pray and affords , I studied hard , alhamdulillah I scored 4 flat in my examination , so actually life wasn't bad at all . Start at that moment, I started to realized that life is full of happiness if you manage to search for it . Its a mission for us to search for our happiness. Friends and family just a catalyst for us to gain strength . Allah give us chance to change and improve our life before he take that opportunity because we dont change ourself and God know everything . 

High expectation will fail you in the end , but moderate expectation will keep on burst you to gain success . My main point is stop wasting time on girls before you gain your glory and victory , get me ? I failed before , now its time for me to chill and enjoy with my glory . She just my past, just ignore, forget and forgive . I deserve someone better , she deserve someone good for me indeed . 

Well it just memorable and precious moment for me , maybe the part of my life will vanish in history of my life . I moved on and let it go but sometime Im not strong enough to handle when Im alone ,this isn't love, but this is lust as being said by her . Last time Im like an insane person , I can even cry all day long , I dont know why but it's weird .Surely bored , but it doesn't last time :P 

It has been ages since 2013 , just a precious memory that will vanish from my heart soon . 

It just a lie, I did well in my SPM examination and I scored 4 flat in my final , alahmdulillah and thank you :P 

Us in another 20 years ?

Dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah ,

So let we start here, gambar as pembuka kata . 3 idiot with our weird faces :p Let me introduce first, from left, Firdaus, me myself and dore.

This picture when we're at Padang Kota , from left, Haniza, Nadd, and the girl with blue shirt is Azrina. 

For many times, I'll post this picture again and again till I'm bored , hahaha , however , I think only this picture have exactly 3 of us unite in one picture during our secondary school. 

As you all can see , this is me , back in the year 2012 maybe , how I love this kind of shirt during this moment , and thing started to change , maybe its kinda lame and old fashion , so I changed my fashion . 

I didn't know when did I took this picture , it happened randomly and spontaneously I guess. Dore haven't change , and Firdaus did changed little bit . Awkward huh ? Well human change , except for dore -_- 

I don't have anything to say about this picture since the picture can't really show my face . 

Again kinda lame right ? But it's cool because we will laugh whenever we see this picture . How me and Firdaus really transform . "I've changed" yaaa right , you're not a transformer . 

Any idea about this picture ? Firdaus seems a little bit thinner than before , hahahaha. I still remember , this happened when we was in form 4 , because I can see the scrabble thingy on his bed side . 

We look sweet right ? Blood brother will never far apart although the distance keep on separate us . Me. dore and firdaus were and still blood brother . 

"Ini hanya panas dunia saudara!" We're King and Queen of selfie , so whether it's hot nor not, we will always taking selfie, picture or anything related to photography . So here we are in Penang Hill . Hopefully, this blogspot can be a dropbox for me to keep many pictures :D 

This is Izzuddin , one of my friend since i was in form 1. Almost 10 years we know each other , hang tengok aku, aku tengok hang , sama lagu tu ja . 

Lasr time I think picture kinda cute but now I think this picture kinda weird and ugly . When we were in form 3 , not mature yet during this time . 

Dore with his face , haha , he used to do that face last time , luckily he changed now, but in certain attitudes only :P

Should I introduce ? lol, in the middle is Cik teha , one of my friend but I haven't meet her for long long time 

I feel a bit lazy to write, but I need to because few of my friends from the pictures will read it . Well, us in another 20 years ? huh , it's hard and a bit fun for me to write and describe my friends in the up coming time , 20 years ..... 2035 ? wow , I'm going to the future, nahhhh , just my prediction :P

Let me start here , well, we go with Firdaus first, maybe he will be a famous reporter or organizer or writer or hacker :P Firdaus with his wife and kids. Hopefully he will marry a Korean Lady and their kids seriously gonna be cute. Maybe he will stay in seoul, insyallah , I can't predict much because I'm not the one whom have six sense to make assumption :P

Dore, hmmmm , a husband to four ladies I guess :P sorry , he will have many kids too , botak tengah as being said before . A famous chef who doesn't want to cook to all his friends . Shisha maniac . A friend which want to get marry in Hindi style , need to dance in his wedding ceremony . A friend which will stay in London, maybe... 

Harith , a famous business man , like his mother, a successful business woman , insyallah , a friend of mine which can talk nonsense and ridiculous things all the time . A father to 3 kids , as he said before . Maybe he will be my neighbor if he wanna stay in New Jersey :P Surely both of us gonna be Americans insyallah . Just a prediction :P Owner of many patrol stations , sama macam sekarang :P

Haniza , well its pretty hard for me to predict . But , in my prediction , this girl will be a good and serious housewife to his husband :P Gonna stay in Malaysia because she's keep on nagging around nak nasi , nak kari , nak sambal :P A good mother . A good friend . Someone that can rely on .